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Kids Say the Darndest Things

Kids were at mom's last night. I went to pick them up. They were watching Goonies.

Towards the end of the movie "Short Round", the inventor kid who also played in Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom as Short Round, has this invention, these pinchers of doom. They are fighting with the bad guys on the pirate ship.

His pinchers of doom fly out and grab the one brother in the privates.

Camden says very loudly - "Mommy, he just grabbed that guy's penis!"

I say "Camden!"

My mom is about to cry laughing, she has hidden her face behind her hands and she is completely red.

I say "You've made mamaw cry."

He said "No, she's laughing at me."

That did it for mom, she put her hands down and just busted out. Tears running down her face she says "Camden, you are not supposed to talk like that."

He said "But mamaw! That's what happened! His thing shot out and grabbed that guy's penis."

Mamaw says "We KNOW what it did Camden, you don't need to tell us play by play is all."

How do you handle that?

Yes, he stated the obvious.

The way he stated it was so darn funny.

What I'm finding more and more is that I have a 5 year old who is intelligent beyond his years - when he wants to be.

My mom says he's 5 going on 33.

I just wish I knew how to teach him some decorum at this age - ie, holding his tongue instead of blurting out, in context, the obvious.

I'm trying to teach him propriety, but he's 5. He will learn in time. But oh the trouble *I'm* going to be in until he does.

Comments

( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
sorcha999
Jul. 22nd, 2003 10:13 am (UTC)
Well...
At least he's beyond the point where he calls his penis a "winkie" or a "water spicket". You can look at it as a maturation really. Yes, he stated the obvious, but I think it's healthy. I don't think he should be taught that sex or his penis is bad or dirty or wrong. I think that telling him it's wrong to simply say the word is implying that.
lordvazago
Jul. 22nd, 2003 11:35 am (UTC)
Re: Well...
What's wrong with "winkie"?
eyes_of_beauty
Jul. 22nd, 2003 11:49 am (UTC)
Re: Well...
I don't think there's anything wrong with "winkie". I think that she was concerned that I would warp him somehow by trying to teach him that there is an appropriate time, and an inappropriate time, in which to very loudly blurt the word "penis".
lordvazago
Jul. 22nd, 2003 11:55 am (UTC)
Re: Well...
I think that anytime is the right time for penis.

*evil smirk*

eyes_of_beauty
Jul. 22nd, 2003 12:46 pm (UTC)
Re: Well...
I think that anytime is the right time for penis.

*laughs*

My husband probably would agree with you on that one.
sorcha999
Jul. 22nd, 2003 11:55 am (UTC)
Re: Well...
Actually, several pediatricians and child psychologists advise against teaching your child alternate names for thier genitalia. Thier theory is that they really need to learn the actual name because they need to be educated about them and it can create a feeling of shame associated with thier own genitalia which overall isn't good.
eyes_of_beauty
Jul. 22nd, 2003 12:54 pm (UTC)
Re: Well...
I don't see anything wrong with knowing the name of the genitalia - the correct ones - nor do I feel that it is wrong to teach them other ones either.

At certain ages they can handle certain concepts. He is now old enough to understand that it is a penis and not a "winkie" or a "water spicket". I have no clue where mom came up with that last one.

But if you think about it, "water spicket" is a pretty good way to describe a penis. Even if it isn't "water" that's coming out per se.

Of course even now we as parents subconsiously, or even unconsiously, do and say things to our children that make them ashamed of themselves to a certain extent.

ie - Beck's nick of Booda. Booda = Budda = fat guy

She is not fat, she will slim down as she grows. I looked exactly like her when I was little. I grew into what most perceived to be "va va va voom". Tall leggy curvacious blond with big boobs.

Had I realized I looked like that then, instead of lamenting on how I perceived myself to look, I would have probably gotten into a whole heck of a lot more trouble than I did.

I'm working on how I talk to my daughter. Because she does not need to perceive herself as anything other than who she is and that is a beautiful little girl who I'm going to have to put bars on her windows to either A) keep the boys out; or B) keep her in when she hits the teen years.
sorcha999
Jul. 22nd, 2003 01:50 pm (UTC)
Re: Well...
At certain ages they can handle certain concepts. He is now old enough to understand that it is a penis and not a "winkie" or a "water spicket". I have no clue where mom came up with that last one.

>> Just because we teach them the correct names of thier body parts doesn't mean we have to tell them what to do with them when they hit the hormonal years. LOL keeping that in mind, why is the word "penis" harder to understand than "winkie"?

Just a thought.

I agree with you about Becka. I think the bad self-image affects females the most.

I think I would have gotten into a lot LESS trouble had I percieved myself to be beautiful when I was a teenager. I would have been too good for most of the people I was with.

Nobody is a perfect parent. We all have our flaws. Some are better in some areas than others. It's all where our priorities lie I think. What we think is most important to our kids. Some think it's a relationship with thier parents, some think it's discipline, some think it's positive self image. Hell, some think it's basketball.

Usually what we think is the most important is what we lacked the most as a kid. Some of us are lucky enough to realize what we lacked. Others aren't and end up repeating the same mistakes our parents made.

It's important to wake up.

Sorry about rambling. It's been a long two days. :-)
modelveracity
Jul. 23rd, 2003 06:45 am (UTC)
TO share my view, I think parents who become embarased when the child says PENIS! show shame of being human. To me, and those who study the development of psyche generally agree there is nothing wrong with penis, sex, intercourse, etc. If we look at the situation, clearly, Camden acted appropriately; he was truthful. I support the use of penis and vagina, sex, and the realities of being human! All hail the great human body! Without it, you would lack ability to communicate with me about this apparently unsettling event!

Challenge comes from thinking about both the long term and short term effect of our actions.
perdita_saxon
Jul. 23rd, 2003 10:54 am (UTC)
Whoopdefreasking for passing human anatomy class.

You are the parent, while teaching the child the proper names- does not mean the child should announce it to the entire world, that they have a penis or a vaginia or know how babies are made.

It's called appropriate behavior. It could mean the difference between a parent teacher conference or not. it could mean the difference in a teacher saying a child is bright and talented, to while bright shows signs of some sort of ADD and needs to be tested.

Appropriate behavior and manners is what this society so desperately lacking.
modelveracity
Jul. 23rd, 2003 11:30 am (UTC)
Penis punching in moral society
I disagree with you. I do not fear being able to discuss with the teacher how I teach my children about veracity. Displaying honesty does not show ADD. If 'appropriate behavior', I'm assuming 'appropriate moral behavior' includes falsity and lies, i'll stick to being immoral. Sometimes, being ethically based, I go against the moral majority. And, obviously to me, the situation mentioned by _eyes of beauty_ is not inappropriate unethical behavior. A penis is a penis! If someone gets punched in the penis, someone gets punched in the penis! I can't deny that!

Thank you.
perdita_saxon
Jul. 23rd, 2003 11:59 am (UTC)
Re: Penis punching in moral society
You will not have to deal with the immediate fallout of such behavior with teachers and classmates - because in this day and age - using words that while anatomically correct could be interrepted as sexually harrassing and inappropiate class room behavior.

I am just telling you now what could happen. I have worked with pre-school and school age kids. With the no tolerance policies in the school districts where you live, no tolerance also means no common sense as well.


modelveracity
Jul. 23rd, 2003 12:13 pm (UTC)
Re: Penis punching in moral society
it is not sexual harassment to say, "I got punched in the penis!" However, saying to someone, "I got punched in the penis, will you kiss it for me?" is, if the person is knowledgable in sexual activity, and can it can be proven.

I agree with you - foresight, or consideration of possible outcomes, is something lacking in moral social training these days.
perdita_saxon
Jul. 23rd, 2003 12:29 pm (UTC)
Re: Penis punching in moral society
Which goes back to that what you can and can not say.
Your guys are going to grow up in the most intense all out gunning for white males ever.

The boys are going to held to higher and more perfect standards.
While not fair, if there are mistakes made - labels are ready.

This is not a moral or ethical situtation. It's reality, it's not a pretty one.
modelveracity
Jul. 23rd, 2003 12:52 pm (UTC)
Re: Penis punching in moral society
Reality shows me the moral progamming of others brings a fear of reality, such as the moral rule of of sexuality in the USA, which shows our discussion of precise label use to fall under moral code. Such delusions about reality and being human are not useful, and, again, are not supported by any of those who study the human psyche.

While the social moralist may feel uncomfortable with the use of certain words in public, such as penis, using such words does not conflict with law. Also, as stated previously, I discussed how different contextual phrasing show sexual content, versus reference to a genital organ.

However, I will teach my children to evaluate those with whom they speak for the listener's ability to accept reality as it is, versus how moral society defines it, so as to adjust word choice so as to effectively communicate with the social moralist, who may approve of implied reference instead of straight talk about sexual genitalia. Successful communication with the social moralist requires such evaluation, and limitation of vocabulary to words without moral attachments. Yes, without moral attachments, but with ethical attachments. The words do not mean the same thing. For reference, see:

http://home.fuse.net/veracity/socialgames.htm

Of course, why talk to someone who incriminates through descrimination unless they have something needed by the individual, such as job situations? Most people seem to want to avoid walking on egg shells around friends and loved ones, because most like to drop the scherade when at home, hoping for acceptance of what they really exist as in completeness.

Mental ping-pong is fun!
sorcha999
Jul. 23rd, 2003 01:47 pm (UTC)
Why is everyone assuming here that just because a five year old knows he has a "penis" means that he knows how babies are made. Two totally separate concepts here. I mean I know the two are related, but c'mon nobody is going to accuse a five year old of sexual harrassment if he calls his penis a penis instead of some cutsie alternate name his parents have made up for him.

Besides, Camden didn't say this in a classroom. He said it in a safe family atmosphere. That doesn't mean he won't say it in a classroom either, however if he does, and the teacher decides to hold a parent teacher conference, it can be discussed at that point. That's what parent teacher conferences are for. They are not all negative. They are supposed to be about breaching communication and coming up with a mutual resolution to a percieved problem. Not to label and accuse an innocent child.

In the end, I think that all of us have very different opinions on the subject (niether being wrong) at hand and I don't see any point in discussing it any further because we just have to agree to disagree and move on. If it continues to be discussed, I think it should be discussed between EOB and MV privately behind closed doors (not in front of said child) as they are the parents of said child.
eyes_of_beauty
Jul. 24th, 2003 06:03 am (UTC)
The Whole Thing Was About
How absolutely funny it was that he blurted that right out.

It was further about how much he is growing and how he amazes me every day with how he grasps concepts of things.

While he was indeed in a safe environment, I firmly believe there is a time and a place for uttering the word penis as an exclaimation and the sooner he learns the propriety of it, the better off he will be in the mores of society.

Of course one of my favorite commercials right now is the goth/punk kid, with his multiple facial piercings, getting ready to go out in his middle class home and his mom calls him over to her and they chat about where he is going, who with, and did he leave a number. Then she checks his safety pins and lets him leave.

I think that is such a cool commercial. I hope I can be that mom.

I agree about knowing the appropriate words for your genitalia, however, announcing that you have X in front of the general public is a bit embarassing, not only possibly to your parent but to another party who might be present.

Of course in the company of other parents, in their home or what have you, out of ear shot of the general public, its just funny and you laugh at them.

But my whole point in posting what happened was to express how amused I was.

This rediculous dragging out - blah blah blah - was totally unwanted, unsolicited, and uncalled for.

Or has this discussion been an extension of the Veracity newsgroup?

Next time, before blathering on about what I should or should not do, or how I should or should not handle the situation, if you have a question on how I've posted something - then ask me - because all I was was totally amused and also a wee bit in awe of my awesome son.
modelveracity
Jul. 24th, 2003 10:38 am (UTC)
Re: The Whole Thing Was About
Personally, I don't see how anyone was telling you what to do. I see expression of opinion, not attempt to control. Nothing wrong with a differing opinion. You might think discussing this is a "rediculous dragging out - blah blah blah - was totally unwanted, unsolicited, and uncalled for." However, if this is so, why do you allow open comments to your posts if such is "rediculous dragging out - blah blah blah - was totally unwanted, unsolicited, and uncalled for." ?

I bet your fumin'! Come on, have a sense of humor and laugh, damn you! ;-) I bet you can't resist the urge to respond can ya? huh huh? I guess perdita saxon ran out of gas, eh? ;-) I can't tell you two apart! hehe! laugh damn you! laugh!
perdita_saxon
Jul. 24th, 2003 11:57 am (UTC)
Re: The Whole Thing Was About
No, Perdita Saxon,
has a life beyond the cable modem.

There is no refilling of her tank.

While mildly amusing at home could have serious consequences elsewhere.

There is one major distinction between EOB and myself. She is much more tolerant of people than I have ever been.
eyes_of_beauty
Jul. 24th, 2003 12:20 pm (UTC)
Re: The Whole Thing Was About
And here I was contemplating a serious bludgening of MV next I saw him.
perdita_saxon
Jul. 24th, 2003 12:28 pm (UTC)
Re: The Whole Thing Was About
What do you want to use?

You saw the taking down of the wounded gazelle.
modelveracity
Jul. 25th, 2003 01:37 pm (UTC)
Re: The Whole Thing Was About
Not usre how to interpret. Please advise.
sorcha999
Jul. 25th, 2003 05:25 am (UTC)
Re: The Whole Thing Was About
This rediculous dragging out - blah blah blah - was totally unwanted, unsolicited, and uncalled for.

Or has this discussion been an extension of the Veracity newsgroup?

Next time, before blathering on about what I should or should not do, or how I should or should not handle the situation, if you have a question on how I've posted something - then ask me - because all I was was totally amused and also a wee bit in awe of my awesome son.

How could this possibly be an extension of the Veracity newsgroup?

First off, in your original post you asked "How do you handle that?" in what I could only assume to be in reference to the situation at hand. Therefore, the responses you got do not seem unsolicited to me.

Next time, when you do not want advice and are willing to bite the head off of the person that gives it to you after you ask for it, don't ask for it.
eyes_of_beauty
Jul. 25th, 2003 05:50 am (UTC)
Re: The Whole Thing Was About
Asking "how do you handle that" was RHETORICAL.

You've heard of that haven't you? - Being a legitimate question by asking this question.

I wasn't asking for anyone's advice. By reading and responding the way everyone did who I was talking about blathering - apparently do not understand or grasp the concept of the word "rhetorical".

"rhetorical
2: concerned with effect or style of writing and speaking; "a rhetorical question is one asked solely to produce an effect (especially to make an assertion) rather than to elicit a reply" [ant: unrhetorical]" -- WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University


I was not looking for a reply on how to handle it.

If you don't like my comments, or my journal, or don't undestand how I mean something and decide to go off on a tangent and then don't like my response, then don't (a) read my journal; and/or (b) respond.

As I recall, my disclaimer states that I reserve the right to comment back and/or flame back.
modelveracity
Jul. 25th, 2003 01:43 pm (UTC)
Re: The Whole Thing Was About
When we post things, say things, etc., we run the rick of misinterpretation - a common issue with human communication. Who flamed who? I'm sorry - I missed that part.

I am confused by responses posted here. I guess I don't understand the connotations of the words used. I hope you understand.
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )

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