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There are days when I want to keep up with "the crowd" and I want to go over and hang out and do things. But I live so far away from most people in "the crowd".

DH works on weekends now so I would mostly be going it alone.

I don't care to "go it alone". I mean that I don't care if I go alone, not that I don't want to go alone.

But then I think, why? Why do I want to "keep up with the crowd"? Am I feeling old?

I go out when I can. I go out when I want. I do what I want, when I want, how I want.

How is that feeling old?

Then I think about friends who I only know through the internet. There is one friend in particular in Alberta who I have only met through chats and now we talk only through emails. We met on a website now defunct and our kids (my oldest, her youngest) are only 7 days apart.

Then there is Loren in Toronto, another person I met online, again through a mutual interest. I have not talked to Loren in forever. The last snippets he and I had were through ICQ and even now my ICQ is still on my old tower and as my ICQ name is very commen, I can't even go looking for my number because I would have to weed through thousands of similar names and even then I could not be sure that is it.
I would love to know where he is now and how he is doing. He was such a good friend. I find that I really miss him. Even if at the tender age of 22, now coming up on 25 for him, he's a "kid".

Perhaps I'm simply feeling nostalgic.

Perhaps I AM feeling old.

Whatever it is, I hope that it goes away quickly so I don't feel insane too. *grin*



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