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Strange Dream

Last night I dreamt that my first husband had been killed in an automobile accident. I remember reading something about it in the newspaper. Then my family was talking about it with me.

I don't know why.

I remember telling his family how sorry I was for their loss. I remember his wife blamed me??? I think. She blames me for everything. For his temper, his violence, his infidelities. My name is instant hate for her. Yet to my face she is so sickenly sweet. Just like her mother-in-law - the dragon lady.

But he died, in the dream. And I remember thinking, he is so young, he is too young to die.

He was drinking and driving - that I remember too.

Typical Jimmy. Dumbass. My pet nickname for him was stupid moron. It still fits to this day.

I was sorry for his family's loss - he left behind a wife and two kids - but I could have cared less that he was dead.

Now, if I really hear shortly that he was killed in an automobile accident by a drunk driver or because he was driving drunk, I will be dumbfounded.

But otherwise, I think that whereever his stupid moronic self is, he is still fine.

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