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Cause Dita asked for details on LLB...

Ok, LLB calls. She tells me that she and The Head have been fighting quite a bit these last two weeks. She says that he told her he wanted a divorce. She more than gleefully skipped to the attorney's office to get the paperwork started.

Stupidly - she told the attorney that she would take all of the bills and sell the house and split the difference. TG the attorney is one we both know well. He counseled her to not allow herself to be screwed any further by this asshole.

I told her that she should take all of the income tax returns from the day they got married in with her. Why???

Hummm, lets see...

Dumb ass worked self-employed as a photograper's assistant for quite some time. He never saved a dime from his earnings to pay towards taxes. Who had to turn in their 401k to pay those from day one?? Yep. LLB.

Where did the money go that he was paid? She cannot say, nor is there anything in that house, or his possession, showing where it went. Not a farthing.

Then the attorney asked her who put the down payment on the house. She said that she did. It was the money she received from the sale of her house in Trenton. You know that was several thousand dollars (like $75,000). I don't know how much the house in Middletown cost and I know that she has continued to be the sole person to pay the house payments.

I'm like "Hello!!! McFly!!!"

She owes him nothing. He does not deserve such good treatment by her. She doesn't owe him one damn dime. He owes her everything. He would be nothing without her. She is his "sugar mama" and always has been his meal ticket. If it weren't for her he would be living in the sewers out of a burnt out car.

He's in his 40's and he's too stupid to know how to make it on his own.

Where do you think he's going to go back to when its all over? New Miami of course. The hell hole of Butler County.

Sure, each city has its "bad parts of town". Except New Miami is entirely one "bad part of town". Its a vortex. Once you are there you cannot get out and if you are one of the lucky ones you will marry someone in Hamilton or Middletown and never go back. Not even for family visits. Cause you might get sucked back in.

I asked her how many engines she, SHE not he, put into his old Saturn. She paid to repair the first one and then put two more in after that one blew out. He is that rough on cars. So once it was gone they got a new Aztec. She drives that. She told me he makes the payments but without her he could not afford it. He got the Cougar which is paid off and an older car.

So he drives IT into the ground. He wrecked it, then he drove it, with it making noises, until it blew out. She had it taken to the shop. He reported back to her that it was kaput and they had to purchase a new car. Not a used car, a BRAND NEW car. She told him that they could only afford about $1,500 towards a car and he just went off on her screaming and yelling at her.

So she calls the shop to get the real scoop on the car. She finds out that he knew for months that the engine was making noises as he had "confided" that in the repair man. Had he taken it in when it first began to make noises then it could have been repaired very cheaply - like the part was a $2 part. But no, he drives it into the ground and now to fix it will cost about $2,000. The car isn't worth that.

I remind her of all of this. I remind her of how much money she has spent taking care of his worthless ass. I ask her how much he deserves her to pay him. I could see her nodding on the other end of the phone. She says she knows she doesn't owe him anything. Except there is this sign above her head that says "I'm too soft hearted for my own good."

Yes, Dita dear, I know I'm like that too - only she's like many times worse than I could ever think of being.

I'm only a mat, she's wall to wall carpeting in an expensive hotel in Vegas.

We talked more about their fighting. He tells her how abusive she is towards him - detailing to her exactly how he treats her only saying its her doing that to him - he tells her she needs real mental help. She said that she told him he was right, she was mental, she was mental for allowing this to go on as long as it has and not stopping it when it started oh so long ago.

He tells her how cruel she is to him and causes him mental and physical anguish. The problem is he knows how to push all of her buttons and cause this to her. She told me that the other day, right before work, he picked a bad fight with her. It just "happened" to be the day that she was to go after work to Sinclair to take placement testing and meet with a counselor. She said she was 2 hours late to work that day because it took her quite some time to gain control of herself in order to be able to leave the house.

Of course he just strolled out the door and got to work on time knowing he had accomplished his goal - but yet accused her of being the one to do this to him and cause him problems at work.

She said he called her later in the day to say that he hoped that their tiff hadn't caused her too much anguish to interfere with her placement testing.

Bastard. That's EXACTLY what he wanted to do.

As long as he can keep her beat down he thinks he has her. He is becoming more and more desperate to keep her beat down because she is starting to grow balls. Hell, he is so upset that she is even talking to me again.

You know me, I'm quite the hereitc (?sp). And quite The Head basher.

OOOoooo, if only I COULD bash that head!! Wheeeeeeee!!!!

I wonder if it would pop open like a water melon? *rubs hands together at the mere delicious thought of it*

She said that he told her that she has begun to tell him that she wishes he were dead during their fights. She said he told her not even his worst enemy would wish him dead. She asked him point blank "How would you know, have you ever asked any of your enemies?"

Oh, that got him going.

She also knows how to push his buttons. *giggles*

I do fear for her safety. He is a very violent person. But if he believes its all his idea for the divorce, I think she is safer. Not too safe, only safer than if she had just gone in and handed him divorce papers.

On a brighter note in her life...

She told me that she got a lovely V Day present from her SO. Pink pearls. He told her they weren't the $5,000 ones tho. Like she cared how much they cost but she is sure that they were quite a bit.

We talked about that for a while. She says that she thinks that since he owns an apartment building in Dayton that she could get him to put her in one for minimal rent.

She also told me that he told her that she could work part time for him as his other secretary quit on him and he isn't in a position to pay her full time.

WTF? If he can give her pink pearls for V Day and an uber expesive scarf and other gifts for Christmas and he can go on month long vacations to Russia... I'd think he could pay her full time.

He also supposedly told her that whatever her loans didn't cover for tuition and books he would pay for via a credit card. !!!

She said that he only wanted someone to keep him company. To play with. But to still be free.

Really, that's what she needs.

She gets bored oh so easily with relationships once the excitement and newness wears off.

The Head saw this and that's why he forced her into marriage by "surprising" her with it all pre-arranged and such. Gah! He saw his chance to get out of New Miami slipping away so he pushed it.

Yet, with someone (not The Head) who you never know what's coming next - how can you get bored?

She also thinks that it will be open so that if she wants to date she can. And she says that if he wants to date, have at it, she doesn't care. Tho she doesn't suspect that he would.

She told me that she has taken over everything at work. She rarely sees her current boss anymore, if at all. She says that he is gone all week and if he has appointments set he conveniently gets sick on those days and she has to take his appointments.

She writes all of his briefs. She writes all of the letters. She does everything. I think she probably signs his name too.

She's tired of it. Sure, the money is good at $15 an hour, but with that much stress, and idiot monkey boy on her back, she feels like she could blow.

She feels that if she quit, got the divorce, sold the house, moved to Dayton - she would be in a much better position to go to school. She thinks with working part time for her SO would be enough to cover her bills (pay for the Aztec and any other bills that she incurs because he pays for electric and water, etc.). Plus there are the fringe benefits. Hubba hubba.

She said that if she doesn't take a stand now in her life in 10 years she could very well look back and kick herself in the arse multiple times for not taking the risk because she was too afraid.

I told her that is how I felt about leaving my job but one day, after that 3 page letter (piece of crap - harassment), I just snapped and told DH that I was quitting and quite generously gave a 4 week notice.

I told her my theory on the strep throat being dormant in my system until a time of great stress (*coughs*Tim*coughs*) and then it strikes.

I told her I had it now and I told her about the interview and the pressure from DH about taking it if it were offered.

We discussed how I have never been happy in any job and how I'm happier now at home with the kids than I have ever been.

I told her to go do what she was thinking about. I think it would make her feel much better. I think she would be a better person for it.

Getting rid of The Head is the first big step into becoming an adult!

My baby girlfriend is finally growing her balls! YAY!!!!!!!

She ended the conversation as she pulled into the drive. She said she was home and getting the evil eye from The Head. She said she would report back to me later.

I'm sure I'm forgetting something in this "report" to you.

I know that I have offered my 'skills' of removal of The Head from the house. I have offered her OUR 'skill's' of removal as well. Even DH has offered to be there to be big scary man.

To DH I'm like 'If Head even takes a threatening step towards her he knows if I'm there he will eat dirt, grass, pavement, wall, bumper, whatever I feel like making him eat'. Cause to be able to take out my pent up agression (towards him) on him would feel oh so deliciously delightful. To beat the boy the way the boy deserves to be beaten for all of the pain he has caused her. *insert maniacally evil laugh here*

Oh, as long as I am personally there, she would have no fear of him. I may be the pretty one Dita, but I'm also the brawn. That's why I tend to leave the brains up to you. Cause I know that whatever your evil little mind can come up with, I can enforce if necessary. Even though you are quite the imposing figure yourself. Its nice to have backup.

Idiots of the world beware!

Yeah, I'm smart, I've got brains, only sometimes they fail me on my feet so I have to turn that over to someone else. Every once in a while I get lucky though. ;)

But DH's point was that even though he is pacifist - his mere size alone would probably scare The Head into behaving. All DH would have to do is cross his arms.

I'm like 'Hell, if you are there to be imposing, we might as well toss in the Pet, together you two would make him pee himself repeatedly.'

Dita - JKR wrote the following line just for you : Ron "You know your scary sometimes don't you? Brilliant, but scary."

Which is one reason I'm so glad you are my friend and NOT my enemy!

LYMS - that's all I can think of for my V Day.

I'm sorry I interrupted something in yours. I was only expecting voice mail and I would have left the gleeful message that LLB was filing for divorce cause The Head told her he wanted one.

I've had a good Valentine's Day. I hope you did too.



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