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I'm running in circles I swear it!

On Sunday I put the deposit down on his wedding ring.

This morning I called the wedding site people and asked questions such as, will I have a place to dress and who is setting up.

Answers: No, I will have to come dressed as the center that is open during the weekdays is closed on the weekends.

We set up. Meaning, its a bring your own chair thing. I'm not going to recommend anyone come dressed fancy. Dockers, jeans, slacks - all acceptable for this outdoor event.

And you know what else? It is $150 whether it goes or doesn't at the site. Meaning if it rains, we are SOL with regard to our money. Its gone. They will be more than happy to reschedule our wedding at another date and time later in the year if it is rained out.

Rolls eyes. Sighs heavily.

Compounding upon compounding things.

I want to scream.

I learned yesterday that my daughter cannot get into the preschool I want to put her into because I make too much money at 34 hours per week. I mean, I work more hours than that, but I gave them a small paycheck hoping that that would get her in.


I need more hours because I need more money so that I can keep a roof over their heads and at 34 hours a week I make TOO MUCH MONEY to put her into preschool????!!!!!!

Three things can get her in. 1 - I get a 32 or less hour work week and give them my paystub. 2 - The placement director at the school begs and pleads with the Board to let her in. OR 3 - my intended moves in with me to add a dependent in the household.

My brother living with me is not considered a dependent because he is A my brother and B he works and they consider that to be independent.

This sux big time.

So, now I have a lot of things to figure out.

How do I get a 32 or less hour work week in the month when I need the money the most due to birthdays and Christmas and what the heck are we going to do about the wedding site.

I can tell you from past experience that the wedding site will most likely not be booked for our wedding date on our wedding date and that if we just show up, do the wedding, and get the heck out then they will be none the wiser for it and we will not have to worry about paying the $150 to rent the site and lose our money if it rains.

The work thing is another thing entirely. I need a new job. Because if I got a new job making more money, then I would not need to worry about putting her into this school, I could afford to put her into another, more exclusive, school.

Yet I can say that I do like this school and the teachers. My son goes there. He was accepted because he attended last year.

But they will not let her in even though he is there already.

Le Sigh.

To top all of it off, I feel as if I were in an automobile accident. I feel like I have whiplash. From the base of my skull down past my shoulder blades I'm in pain. I cannot turn my head certain directions. I cannot hold my arms in certain positions.

Talking on the phone at the office is difficult as it is at home.

At home I can ignore the phone, at the office is a different matter entirely.

I hate this. I want to go home now. I want to go to sleep now.

I hate this. I cannot find a job. In the direction that I want. I find that I am hearing from prospective employers from Dayton, OH, but I don't want to be employed in Dayton, OH. If I wanted to be employed in Dayton, OH then there are about six jobs I could apply for right now and most likely get hired for. All of them with benefits and good pay.

I want to go south. I want to go towards Sharonville, Evendale, that direction.

I recall the drive to Mt. Auburn when I was preg with the daughter. That was hell. So I don't want to go too far south.

Fingers are crossed that I will hear from one of the places I applied to in West Chester or Sharonville soon.

When will I get a break???



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November 2005
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