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Yes, I bitch about my family. I love them dearly.

They just know how to push my buttons.

It aggravtes me how they think "they" are doing everything and "I" am doing nothing. So I bitch and I whine and this is the forum in which I do it. I need an outlet and LJ is it.

Stan is too tired with school and work but tries to be my shoulder to lean on. My mother is a martyr (in her own mind) and my sisters need someone to look to.

My mother grudged me mowing my lawn yesterday. I only got the front done before I had to head to get BBK from DA. I hope the rain holds off so that we can finish the back here AND mow the lawn at our new home.

My mother grudges me everything I do. Because I can't drop everything and be there for my Papaw.

You know what mom! I wish I could. I wish I could be with him 24/7.

But my husband has to work and has to go to school. I'm at home with the kids. Unless you are going to pay for their daycare, I'm going to continue with them in regard to school and drive back and forth and only have small windows of time in which to "take my turn" in being with my Papaw.

You know what mom! Bug! It kills my heart to see him like this too. I want to cry, and I do when I have a minute to myself where I'm not upsetting anyone. You know when that is people? When I've put my kids to bed and crawled into bed next to my sleepy husband. Tears stream silently down my cheeks and I sniffle sounding like I have a cold.

You know what mom! Bug! I don't have Tom to mow my lawn(s) like you do. I don't have Tom to take care of my things and stuff like you do.

See the part about my husband working and going to school.

Oh yeah! I work one day a week you know, or did you forget that. I mean the attitude I got from you because I said I can't do anything on Thursday because I work was sickening. Just like you I need the money. For now.

You attempt to guilt trip me into things. Only I learned my guilt trip techniques from the master. My Nana. So your guilt trip attempts come across as whiny and pathetic. *shakes head*

I'm sorry about bitching. But I have no other place to do it. Except to Dita right now and she has her own life to live. As she said this AM, I've made it to the top of the crazy tree and I have no further to climb so I'd better hold on to whatever small branches I can because its a long way down.

The only family fights I foresee is my mom and my sister bitching and whining about me not doing "my part" in taking care of my Papaw.

Excuse me - who has to pay his bills? Who gets to make financial decisions?

I hate these posts. I hate feeling this way, I hate making them, I hate it all.

I want my Papaw back.



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