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Doubt

copyright 2001

I doubt me all the time
I doubt my feelings
I doubt my gut instinct

Instead I choose to
Believe the worst
Without hoping
For the best

I do not believe I can hope
Because if I DO hope
Then I believe I will ultimately
Be rejected and crushed

Therefore
Why hope?
Why dare to believe?
Why dare to dream?

If I go with my gut instinct
If I go against my hope
If I do not allow myself to dream

What?

Here I am
Out of control again
Fighting with my emotions
Freaking out

Worry!
That's the word I was looking for.
I worry

My worry does not allow me
To relax one bit, one minute

My worry causes fear to grip me
Causes me to feel out of control

How do I stop my worry?
How do I regain control?

By realizing that I do not have
To be in control all the time

By realizing that I should
Listen to my gut
Listen to my heart
Follow my dreams

And stop talking to everyone else
Looking for their opinions and advice
Cause ultimately, I am the only one
Who can properly advise me

So I need to advise me, as they
Cannot tell me how or what to do

My life is my own

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