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I am not the Borg

Contrary to popular belief, I am an individual. I have individual likes, dislikes and more than one friend.

I do what I want, when I want, how I want. Within the norms and mores of married life and parenthood.

My friends influence me only to a certain extent. From what I see, its also vice versa.

Each of my friends is an individual. An individual who lives within the norms and mores of their own lives.

I am blessed that their lives cross over mine.

Never never never ever assume that just because *I* am doing this that my friends will be there with me, up my backside, for lack of anything original to do, or lack of friends or family to be with. Never never never ever assume that just because my friends are doing it, that I will be right there with them, for the same reason.

Yes, we like to be together, do things together, see each other, hang out and talk. What person who is a friend doesn't like this?

The fact that someone would assume that just being I am doing X or going over there, then so are my friends just vastly amuses me.

What are we? The Borg?

No you ninny, just because you feel the need to be up someone's butt or have them stuck up your own does not mean that everyone is like you.

No, we are not the Borg. Nor are we needy.

What we are is a group of individuals, who touch each others lives, through it all, and will still be there when the dust settles and the sun rises tomorrow.

Yes, you and yours amuse me. Vastly amuse me.

Because when the dust settles around you, you will find yourself very much alone.

Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
eyes_of_beauty
Sep. 15th, 2003 02:19 am (UTC)
Not that any of us has ever experienced this before. :)

Just the fact that I felt I needed to post it was only slightly annoying.
perdita_saxon
Sep. 15th, 2003 02:44 am (UTC)
I hate it when
I miss something important.
writanya
Sep. 15th, 2003 03:37 am (UTC)
Re: I hate it when
You and me both.
caillile
Sep. 15th, 2003 05:09 am (UTC)
Re: I hate it when
Missed or not, statement time.

Don't you hate that?

Doesn't it bother the hell out of you that because your friends are different, because sometimes you have your differences, because the world is not all peachy keen sometimes, and because you might just disagree with someone, that you cannot possibly be friends?

I mean, how codependent do you have to be that your worth is based on the approval of friends? How naive do you have to be to think that just because someone tells you "You're screwing up" that they hate you and no longer want to be your friend. Most of all, why do you have to be a syncophant to be a best friend? Why do you have to shut up and smile so someone's else's world doesn't fall down around them?

/end rant

I agree with you wholeheartedly EOB.
eyes_of_beauty
Sep. 15th, 2003 05:52 am (UTC)
Re: I hate it when
And not even knowing the full reasoning of my own rant, you eloquently came very close to the target. Not the who responsible, per se, but the rest of the idiocy.

Thank you for adding!
caillile
Sep. 15th, 2003 05:55 am (UTC)
Re: I hate it when
Now I feel like I am in one of those constructive writing group things ;)

It's been on my nerves for a while, because I am seeing wonderful people being tossed about in the mud because of the above types of behaviour and it's something that has irked me since I first met Drew and his "group".
eyes_of_beauty
Sep. 15th, 2003 06:29 am (UTC)
Re: I hate it when
And more than that, roaches crawling out of the woodwork, drooling, going *said in a Quasimodo voice* "I'm your true fwiend".

Yet they somehow couldn't be bothered to be your friend before hand, yet now they can? Why is this I have to wonder.

Sheesh, give me a friggin break.

Sorry, I digressed there for a moment.

Its that whole, true vs. fair weather friend rant that has gone back and forth numerous times throughout numerous journals. And it doesn't have an end I'm afraid.

I'm lucky in the fact that I know who my true friends are and if I'm putting myself out there to be your friend you can take it to the bank that I WANT to be your friend and be there for you - no matter what.

Its that whole introvert - wanting to be a hermit - type of personality that I am. :)
caillile
Sep. 15th, 2003 02:48 pm (UTC)
Re: I hate it when
I think everyone is looking for a person close to their own soul, and sometimes people don't realise that soul mates doesn't equal "we get along all the time".

Hell, one of the men I still consider to be one of my closest friends told me that I needed to grow up and let go of the past, as well as let go of him. I wanted to murder him at the time, and it took me a year to get over what he told me. I did though, and that's the point to friends. You get made, you may get even, but you eventually get over it and realise if they didn't love you, they would have spoken about it behind your back.

As for people crawling out of the wood work, think about rebound relationships. Nobody is easier to manipulate than when they are coming back from something. It is then that we look for the bright, and try to build our lives back up. Some people are there to be foundations to that journey, others see a target. On the other hand, when you're sucessful, they still want to be your friend, but I think most of us have a better edge of skepticism in us then. Hence some of your post.

Yeah, the debate will continue. It will go on until the end of time because some people view friendship as complete, blind devotion, some people see it as supporting each others, and some see it as walking through life making sure the only person that trips you up is them ;). Most of all it's a combination of all three and more. Very few people are willing to look at the grey areas.

The first weekend of October sounds great. I've already gotten the "No,we're not doing anything" so if he comes up with something, it's curtains for him. I'll also bring fayted along for the ride.
eyes_of_beauty
Sep. 16th, 2003 06:40 am (UTC)
Email me
I think you still have my hotmail email but you can also write to me at isabeau_101@yahoo.com

Let me know your telephone # so I can get with you and we can make plans about where we want to go, what we want to do, etc.

And for the rest of your response, I could not agree more.
caillile
Sep. 15th, 2003 05:12 am (UTC)
Oh, speaking of the borg...

Somebody mentioned a Girl's Night Out and desparately needing one.

I'm seconding that notion. Viciously.
eyes_of_beauty
Sep. 15th, 2003 05:54 am (UTC)
Girls Night Out
When there are no kiddlings.

I'm looking out at my calendar to the beginning of October. I have no kids October 3 & 4 and the following weekend.

I don't have any kids the previous weekend either but I have other plans. :)

Let me know calendars ladies!
perdita_saxon
Sep. 15th, 2003 05:59 am (UTC)
oh ooohhh ooohhh
I am telling you now...
if i could count the TIMES on ONE hand EOB and I have said to each other - you are screwing up.

I only need EOB to listen to me the first Once! And the po' girl didn't even get a chance to tell me "don't do it." So that kind of sucks for her.

Our friendship would not have lasted TWO decades.
Yes, that's right 20 years.

If the world really worked that way, nothing would get done ever.

eyes_of_beauty
Sep. 15th, 2003 06:22 am (UTC)
Re: oh ooohhh ooohhh
Silly Dita - you posted in the wrong spot!

LYMS
perdita_saxon
Sep. 15th, 2003 07:22 am (UTC)
Re: oh ooohhh ooohhh
You two just bumped me down that is all!
fayted
Sep. 16th, 2003 03:52 am (UTC)
Loved this, just absolutely loved it. Had to chime in. *lem ing* (teasing-really truely loved it, eloquently says what some folks just fail to realise most of the time. You know, the whole nose picking thing. *grin*)
eyes_of_beauty
Sep. 16th, 2003 06:42 am (UTC)
Thank You
I think between myself and Ifer's comments we covered all bases of things I was thinking and didn't completely say. Its like she was sitting right there bouncing it off of me and I was bouncing it back and we were totally in sync. (Not that bad boy band either.)
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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