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My inner goth

I've always been a priss. Meaning I've always been the type to make sure that my clothes, hair, whatever, are just so. I absolutely HATED getting dirty - despite playing hard on the farm. I guess that's what you call a priss.

In the 80s I was dressing like Madonna. Give me a break! I was a teen!

In the 90s I was dressing like a prep. In fact, that has carried over to today.

I'm a prep. On the outside.

On the inside is a whole different story...

In the 80s Dita had the guts to dress in black and wear the funky makeup and be just weird. She enjoyed it. She relished it. She loved it.

I envied that.

I saw the first No Doubt video - the one where they are playing the wedding - and I wanted to BE Gwen Stephanie. I loved her outrageous clothing!

I listen to "alternative" music.

Sure, I went through the pop craze of the 80s. I went through the country dance craze of the 90s. But underneath it all I have been this other person who listens to punk, goth, industrial, and continued to listen even while going through those crazes.

Don't ask me names of many bands. I just like the music. DH can rattle off bands and I'm just shaking my head because I have no clue what he's talking about until I hear the song and I'm like "YEAH! That's what I like!"

I totally love Abney Park and TTV.

Most of the Abney Park stuff I have is their older stuff. I've heard the new stuff, but didn't take the time to download when I could - I think I can on the website but I haven't checked that out lately.

I've got all of TTVs old stuff. The stuff that they already have out on CD. DH was kind enough to share. :)

I discovered Poe last year. When I told DH about Poe he looked at me like I were crazy. I'm sorry, I'm one step behind and a beat later than his "cool" friends.

I just march to my own drummer sometimes.

I like the mixes he has found online of Incubus Sucubus (?sp) and others who go unfairly unnamed because I don't know who they are, only their music.

I wish I had the guts to dress like I feel inside of me.

I'm not a depressed person, I'm not a dark person, I'm just a funky freak.

If I did I'd probably scare my family into thinking that I was mentally disturbed. LOL

But my friends know who I am and what I like. My DH most importantly.

No, I'm not trying to "fit in" to some "culture" out there. I really don't care about that.

I care about me, about how I feel, about who I am, and what I like.

If that happens to co-incide with a so-called "culture", so be it.

I'm not a "wannabe" either. I've just got this inner person who wants to break through the prep I am on the outside.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
perdita_saxon
Jan. 5th, 2004 12:53 pm (UTC)
She's so unusual
You must remember my monchromatic days.
Black, blue, pink, purple...
hair, nails, lips and eyes to match..
And you knew just by looking at me wether it was going to be a good day or a real ugly one.

It's not that we have another person inside of us, They have always been there. You are just bending the light to see to colors of yourself.
eyes_of_beauty
Jan. 5th, 2004 01:12 pm (UTC)
Re: She's so unusual
My very favorite thing you had was "The Look". You still got it. :) But I just LOVED how you would give it to people who were staring or snickering.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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